‘This Is Where We Murder Vegetables’ Engraved Chopping Board

Add a Sharp Sense of Humour to Your Culinary Prep

The ‘This Is Where We Murder Vegetables’ chopping board is a premium, solid wooden surface designed to bring a dash of dark, British humour to your kitchen preparation. Combining high-quality craftsmanship with a brilliantly witty, engraved design, this piece guarantees to be a talking point among guests.

Forget mundane slicing and dicing; this board turns your everyday culinary tasks into a dramatic event. Featuring a quirky, hand-drawn illustration of impending vegetable victims alongside the bold, tongue-in-cheek caption, it’s the ultimate statement piece. It serves as a fantastic addition to your own kitchen arsenal or a cracking, memorable gift for that enthusiastic home cook who genuinely appreciates a sharp sense of humour.

Key Features & Specifications

• The Perfect Prep Size: Measuring 30cm x 20cm, this versatile size is ideal for everyday chopping tasks or as a dedicated prep board for smaller items.
• Premium Solid Wood: Crafted from durable, food-safe timber, providing a sturdy and reliable cutting surface designed to last.
• Integrated Practicality: Features a deep perimeter juice groove to efficiently catch liquids, ensuring your marble worktops and kitchen surfaces remain clean and tidy.
• Multi-Functional Use: While built for heavy-duty vegetable preparation, it doubles beautifully as a unique serving platter for cheeses, crusty breads, or curated charcuterie displays.

Choose Your Finish: Laser Scoring vs. Engraving

We pride ourselves on the detail and longevity of our engraving process. To ensure you get the exact aesthetic you want for your kitchen, this board is available in two professional finishes:

• Laser Scored: Creates clean, precise fine lines for a subtle and artistic aesthetic. Ideal if you prefer a lighter, more understated look that blends seamlessly with the natural wood grain.
• Laser Engraved: Produces a deeper, more tactile burn into the wood for a bold, high-contrast finish that stands out and stands the test of time.

FAQ

How do I care for my engraved chopping board?

Caring for your board is simple. To maintain the wood's natural beauty and ensure longevity, simply hand wash in warm soapy water and wipe dry immediately. Never submerge the board or place it in a dishwasher. We recommend treating it occasionally (every 4-6 weeks) with a food-safe mineral oil to prevent drying and cracking.

Is the engraving permanent?

Yes, both our Laser Scored and Laser Engraved finishes create a permanent mark deep into the wood fibres. Even with heavy use and rigorous cleaning, the unique design will remain a standout feature of your board.

Can I use this board for meat preparation?

While the board is durable, we strongly recommend reserving this piece primarily for vegetables, breads, and serving if you wish to preserve the life and hygiene of the wood. If used for raw meat, strict cleaning protocols (hot soapy water rinse followed by a sanitising wipe) must be followed immediately after use.