This Is Where We Murder Vegetables Engraved Chopping Board

Add a Sharp Sense of Humour to Your Culinary Prep

The ‘This Is Where We Murder Vegetables’ chopping board is a premium, solid wooden kitchen accessory designed to inject a serious dose of dark, British wit into your culinary routine. Combining high-quality, durable timber with a brilliantly witty, deep-cut engraved design, this board is guaranteed to be a talking point amongst guests and family alike.

Forget mundane food preparation. Featuring a quirky, hand-drawn illustration depicting impending vegetable doom alongside the bold, tongue-in-cheek caption, this is the ultimate statement piece for any modern kitchen. Whether upgrading your own culinary arsenal or searching for a cracking, memorable gift for that enthusiastic home cook who genuinely appreciates a sharp sense of humour, this piece delivers on quality and comedy.

Key Features & Specifications

• The Perfect Prep Size: Measuring 30cm x 20cm, this versatile size is ideal for everyday chopping tasks or as a dedicated prep board for smaller items.
• Premium Solid Wood: Crafted from durable, food-safe timber, providing a sturdy and reliable cutting surface designed to last.
• Integrated Practicality: Features a deep perimeter juice groove to efficiently catch liquids, ensuring your worktops and kitchen surfaces remain clean and tidy.
• Multi-Functional Use: While built for heavy-duty preparation, it doubles beautifully as a unique serving platter for cheeses, crusty breads, or curated charcuterie displays.

Choose Your Finish: Laser Scoring vs. Engraving

We pride ourselves on the detail and longevity of our engraving process. To ensure you get the exact aesthetic you want for your kitchen, this board is available in two professional finishes:

• Laser Scored: Creates clean, precise fine lines for a subtle and artistic aesthetic. Ideal if you prefer a lighter, more understated look that blends seamlessly with the natural wood grain.
• Laser Engraved: Produces a deeper, more tactile burn into the wood for a bold, high-contrast finish that truly stands out and stands the test of time.

FAQ

How do I care for my engraved chopping board?

Caring for your board is simple. To maintain the wood's natural beauty and ensure longevity, simply hand wash in warm soapy water and wipe dry immediately. Never submerge the board or place it in a dishwasher. We recommend treating it occasionally (every 4-6 weeks) with a food-safe mineral oil to prevent drying and cracking.

Is the engraving permanent?

Yes, both our Laser Scored and Laser Engraved finishes create a permanent mark deep into the wood fibres. Even with heavy use and rigorous cleaning, the unique design will remain a standout feature of your board.

Can I use this board for meat preparation?

While the board is durable, we strongly recommend reserving this piece primarily for vegetables, breads, and serving if you wish to preserve the life and hygiene of the wood. If used for raw meat, strict cleaning protocols (hot soapy water rinse followed by a sanitising wipe) must be followed immediately after use.

Make it Yours!

Love the design but want to add a personal touch? We'd love to help you create a one-of-a-kind piece! This board makes a stunning gift for weddings, housewarmings, anniversaries or any occasion.

How to Order:

Please enter your details in the Personalisation Box. Be sure to include:

• Names / Text
• Important dates
• Special Requests